What Do I Do Now?
by Ankhesanamun
Summary: After the death of Albus Dumbledore, two people struggle with their grief and the challenges which lie ahead. Song-Fic to I Know Where I've Been. MMAD. Angst warning.


**Was listening to this song and this popped into my head. Although I'm sure this sort of thing has been done many times before I hope I have put my own unique spin on it. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine obviously because if it was Dumbledore would be alive and married to Minerva. Song is 'I Know Where I've Been' from the film Hairspray and is sung beautifully by Queen Latifah.**

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It was a dark night, a blackness shrouding the land that not even the light from the moon seemed able to penetrate.

Professor Minerva McGonagall sighed brokenly as she looked out across the grounds of Hogwarts from the main doors of the castle. Her emerald eyes, usually stern and hidden behind her glasses, shone with tears as she stared down at the splash of white that shone out from the darkness.

_There's a light,_

_In the darkne__ss, _

_Though the night, _

_Is black as my skin,_

A white tomb, which stood alone and which displayed the ugly truth for all to see, he was gone.

A sob tore from her throat at the thought and instinctively she grasped at the necklace, which lay around her neck, desperate to hold onto her last connection to him.

_There's a light, _

_Burning bright,_

Even at a distance she could just make out the flickering of the thousands of candles which lay in front of the tomb, a testament to the thousands of people who had been touched by him and now mourned him.

_Showing me the way,_

_But I know where I've been,_

As she continued to watch, she saw a shadow moving among the candles and intuitively, she knew who it was. Harry Potter. His wand was out and he was moving carefully through the maze of candles, relighting those which had gone out, ensuring that the memorial stayed alight, for one night at least.

_There's a cry, _

_In the distance,_

Slowly, gracefully, Minerva moved down the steps, her feet taking her towards the tomb and the child who stood alone there.

_It's a voice,_

_That comes from deep within,_

As she moved closer, the ache in her heart increased and she fought against the screams, which were threatening to overwhelm her from within.

_There's a cry, _

_Asking why, _

_I pray the answer's up ahead,_

_Yeah, _

'_Cause I know where I've been, _

Silently, she came alongside the solitary teenager, and breathing softly, she allowed her magic to flow from her and light the surrounding area in a soft glow, enhanced by the gentle light of the flickering candles.

Beside her, Harry continued to stare at the burial place of Albus Dumbledore, his own eyes shining with unshed tears.

_There's a road, _

_We've been travelling,_

Unconsciously, Minerva found herself seeing Harry throughout the years she had known him. First as a tiny baby, whom Lily had so proudly introduced her to, then as the nervous eleven year old who had desperately tried to fit into the new world which he had found himself in, and finally the handsome man that now stood before her, no longer a child but a boy who had been forced to grow up too quickly.

_Lost so many on the way, _

Her memories turned to his parents, her students and to all the others who had been lost to the monster that Tom Riddle had become. Gasping slightly, she swiped at the tears which had begun to fall again, and turned to face the grave of another who had fallen on account of his evil.

_But the riches,_

_Will be plenty,_

"Will we ever be free of him do you think, Professor?" Harry murmured after a while, not needing to specify who the 'him' was.

"I do." Minerva replied determinedly. "We will beat him, Harry." She paused and gazed at the tomb again.

_Worth the price, _

_The price we had to pay, _

"For the sake of all those whom we have lost, we will defeat this demon."

_There's a dream, _

_In the future, _

"Professor Dumbledore had been helping me to find ways to defeat him," Harry remarked lightly, never lifting his eyes from the candles that surrounded the grief-stricken pair.

"I know."

_There's a struggle, _

_That we have yet to win, _

"I don't think I can do it though, not without him, not on my own." Harry whispered brokenly.

At his soft words, Minerva turned to face the child fully, stretching out a hand and gently lifting his face to meet her eyes.

_And there's pride, _

_In my heart, _

"Have faith, Harry, in yourself and in those around you. You are not alone, we are all with you, together we can fight to defeat him."

'_Cause I know, _

_Where I'm going, _

_Yes I do!_

_And I know where I've been._

Running her hand along his forehead, Minerva traced the scar that lay there, before pulling Harry into a warm embrace.

They stood like that for a while, bathed in the light of the candles until Minerva slowly pulled away.

"Go back to your dormitory, Harry, be with your friends and grieve together." Harry nodded and turned to walk back to the castle, only stopping briefly when Minerva gently added, "Do not forget, Harry, help will always be available if you need it."

"Thank you, Professor, for everything." Harry said in return and with that he began the short walk back up to the castle.

_There's a road,** There's a road**_

_We must travel, __**We must travel**_

Minerva sighed and walked over to the tomb, placing her hand on the cold marble in a gentle caress.

"Oh Albus, how could you leave us? How could you leave me?" She whispered despairingly, tears once again flowing freely down her pale cheeks as she leaned against the lifeless walls.

As she continued to stand there, lost in her grief, she suddenly felt a delicate wind pass across her cheek, almost like the whisper of fingers running across her skin and she gasped in surprise, desperately looking around to see where the touch had originated.

Seeing no-one, she felt despair welling up inside her again, and feeling her legs collapse under her, she slid down and leant against the white walls.

_There's a promise, __**There is a promise,**_

_We must make, __**That we must make,**_

"You promised me forever," She sobbed inconsolably, "and yet here I am, left without you."

_But the riches, __**Oh but the riches,**_

_Will be plenty, __**The riches will be plenty, **_

Her chest heaved as she remembered her dreams for when Voldemort was finally defeated, her hopes of a quiet life with her husband, no longer having to hide their marriage from the world but able to celebrate if freely.

"But we never got the chance to do that, did we?" She muttered cynically, "It was sooo important that it remain hidden, no-one could know we were married because it might put me in danger."

_Worth the risk, __**Worth the risk,**_

_And the chances that we take, __**And the chances that we take, **_

_There's a dream, _

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, _

_In the future,_

"I loved you, Albus, with everything in me and I never regretted marrying you but now I'm left alone and unable to openly mourn my husband and I don't know what to do."

_There's a struggle, (__**struggle)**_

_That we have yet to win, (__**we have yet to win)**_

Dropping her head into her hands, Minerva wept openly for the first time since her husband's death, finally allowing herself to grieve for everything that she had lost.

Time passed and gradually Minerva's tears began to slow, until eventually they stopped and she sat there, staring into the darkness, a gaping hole in her soul which used to be filled by her husband.

_Use that pride, (__**pride),**_

_In our hearts, (__**in our hearts,)**_

In her mind's eye, she could still see him, his blue eyes sparkling with love for her, as he reached to pull her into his warm embrace.

If she concentrated hard enough, she could almost feel his arms around her, holding her close, hear the whisper of his voice in her ear,

**"You will never be alone, my darling Minerva."**

_To lift us up, (__**lift us up)**_

_Until tomorrow, _

**"I will always be with you."**

As she remembered his words, a warmth passed over her and Minerva felt her husband's love fill her heart once again. He was right, he would always be with her, and since she was still alive she had to go on.

'_Cause just to sit still,_

_Would be a sin, _

Gingerly she stood up, her legs protesting slightly, as she forced them to straighten after they had been curled up under her for so long.

_I know it, I know it,_

_I know where I'm going,_

She lifted her hand and cupped the ring that hung from her necklace in her fingers, her mind filling in the words which her eyes couldn't see.

**Forever A.D.M.M**

Kissing her fingers, she placed them against the wall of the tomb a final time, before she dimmed the spell of light which she had cast and walked determinedly back towards the castle doors.

At the base of the steps, she paused and stared at the stars glittering above her, "All my heart is with you, Albus."

_Lord knows,_

_I know where I've been, _

"And when I come through that veil, I'll want it back safe and sound."

**On the other side of the veil, Albus Dumbledore smiled at the words of his wife, his own heart swelling with love and pride for this wonderful woman and he murmured lovingly,**

**"Oh it will be, my love, it will be."**

_Oh when we win, _

_I'll give thanks to my god,_

'_Cause I know where I've been._

* * *

**So here it is, hope you all liked it. Constructive criticism is appreciated but no flames please. thanks. A xxxxxx**


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